Is Mother's Day important to you?

This weekend it’s Mother’s Day or Mothering Sunday and it’s important to recognise my own amazing mother and grandmother, not only on this day, but throughout the year. Without these two amazing women in my life, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

They have both taught me about hard work, loyalty, love and kindness. Not just with their words, but in their every day actions throughout my life.

I am lucky enough to have a wonderful godmother who has always been incredibly supportive, as well as a mother-in-law who has always been so dedicated to her family, two sons and her grandchildren.

What is Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day in the UK is always linked to Easter, which is why it falls on a different day each year. It is determined by the lunar calendar.

UK’s Mother’s Day always falls on the fourth Sunday during Lent.

It’s a time when we celebrate the mother of the family and also, motherhood, maternal bonds and the influence of mothers in society.

Some people who are not actual mothers have maternal attributes which influences how they interact with people.

There are often people in the workplace who ‘mother’ new employees when they join the company. 

Mother’s Day is a time when all of the people in your life who are motherly can be thanked and celebrated, alongside your own mother, grandmother, step mother or a man/woman in your life who has taken on a ‘mother’ role.

Where do mums fit today in the world of work?

Many mothers have to work in a job alongside running a home, and caring for their children. Not surprisingly, the stereotypical mother-figure is changing.

In the 21st century, the average age of the first-time mum is over 30 and 70% of mothers have a job. Many families cannot make ends meet with only one salary making up the household income. Many families choose for both parents to work.

Did you know that 33% of working mothers in the UK are the main earner in their family?

There are only 5.2 million stay at home mums, which is the lowest it’s been for 20 years.

33% of working mothers in the UK are the main earner in their family

I had my first child less than two years ago and I was already running my own business.

This meant I’d already considered how to make motherhood work alongside being my own boss of a property management and block management company – find out more about what I do here.

The hours that I work are set so I can spend time with my daughter and also set aside time for work (by having good childcare). That way, when I’m with her I can be as present as possible. 

I do have to be flexible of course – when you run your own business you cannot always control what happens and when. However, flexibility works both ways for me. I can take time off when I need to and then work when my daughter is asleep. The nine to five is a thing of the past.

It has been trickier than I’ve imagined as, with children, you learn to expect the unexpected. There have been numerous times when she’s not been able to go to her childcare provider because she’s been under the weather – and that requires a lot of running around making alternative arrangements with my partner and my own mum.

Therefore, what I’ve learned to date is that good parenting – when you have to work or choose to work – as a mum is a team effort. You may not need all of the ‘team’ all of the time, yet you will always need a team.

The pros and cons of being a working mum?

Pros

• Working mums become positive role models, showing their children that everyone can pursue a professional career.
• Children of working mums tend to be more independent, because they learn to take responsibility for themselves earlier on.
• Children of working mums also tend to have greater social skills and emotional awareness because they’ve been in childcare settings with other children from a very early age. They learn to share and take the feelings of others into account.
• Working mums have a wider circle of contacts outside of their family life. They get opportunities that their children can be involved in too.

Cons

• Working long hours, then driving home through busy traffic, and arriving home to children who need attention, can, unsurprisingly lead to stress and extreme tiredness. Not only do they have matters at work to attend to, but they also have family stuff to take care of as soon as they walk through the door.
• Some mums feel – and they do - miss out the lives of their children and their milestones. They might miss their child’s first steps, or first word and other important steps in their child’s development.
• Depending on their job, at times they are unable to attend family events due to their busy schedule.

Can a work-life balance be found?

• Accept help whenever and wherever you get it. If people initiate by offering a helping hand, accept it.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for support when you’re having an extra-busy time. Turn to your supporters that you have, in the knowledge that this time won’t last forever.
• Make time for yourself to relax, read, meditate or have a pamper session.
• Organise jobs that you can for the evening, when the children are in bed, including preparing anything for them for the next day. Then, breakfast time will be a time for family, to set up the day.
• Set boundaries when you turn off your phone, when you don’t work on your computer and have time with your children. Arrange other people to deal with any emergencies.
• The truth is that it is possible to be a successful business woman, an expert in your field, in my case as a block manager and property manager, and be a good parent.

And finally

Always explain to your child where you are, what you are doing, how it helps the family and the home and let them ask questions when they are able. You are slowly sowing the seeds of independence, resilience and determination with a massive dollop of motherly love!